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Tony Grist

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There's Something About A Really Bad Joke [Jan. 23rd, 2010|10:09 am]
Tony Grist
I hate jokes (I don't mean witty remarks- I mean silly stories with punchlines) and usually forget them as soon as I've heard them-  because they're mostly stupid- and assume a baseline acceptance of blokey, middle-of the road, pub and football culture. Of all the hundreds I've heard in my 59 years on earth only two have stuck. I'm not sure why. I'd like to think it's because they're cleverer than average.  Both are entirely juvenile and horrid- so don't ask me to print them here because I won't. One is disgusting but involves ingenious wordplay, the other takes a honed razor blade to my most dearly held liberal principles;  I got it off the entirely reprehensible but very funny Auberon Waugh. 

It seems I now know three.

I found the third yesterday on my crossword puzzle site.

Did you hear about the lunatic who got frisky down the launderette, then ran away when the police were called?  Next day the Sun went with the headline-  Nut Screws Washers And Bolts.

[User Picture]From: pondhopper
2010-01-23 03:17 pm (UTC)
That's what we call a "groaner" in the US.
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2010-01-23 06:14 pm (UTC)
Pretty bad, ain't it!
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[User Picture]From: halfmoon_mollie
2010-01-23 04:51 pm (UTC)
word play. My favorite kind of jokes.
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2010-01-23 06:17 pm (UTC)
My absolute favourite is from Carry On Cleo- where Kenneth Williams, playing Julius Caesar, is stabbed to death and exqlaims, "Infamy, infamy- they've all got it in for me!"
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[User Picture]From: sovay
2010-01-23 05:16 pm (UTC)
Next day the Sun went with the headline- Nut Screws Washers And Bolts.

That's actually very clever. I can still hear Statler and Waldorf:

"Well, you know what they say—there's nothing like a good joke."

"Yes, and that was nothing like one."
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2010-01-23 06:18 pm (UTC)
If it was good enough for Shakespeare and Lewis Carroll it's good enough for me!
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