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Tony Grist

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Forgiveness [Aug. 28th, 2009|09:39 am]
Tony Grist
Forgiveness is always sublime, but...

A friend of mine is being pestered by a man from her past of whom she has less than delightful memories. Maybe he's just amazingly thick-skinned and unaware of how she feels about him- or maybe he's been put up to it by his AA group. Apparently that's something the AA do- they urge their members to go out and seek reconciliation with those they've wronged.
 
It's not that she doesn't forgive him, it's just that she'd rather he faded back into the woodwork. Does forgiveness mean you have to hang out with your former enemies?

It's a very egotistical thing, wanting to be forgiven. You've hurt this person and now you're creeping round them going, "Please make me feel better".  It turns the victim into the aggressor.  Wouldn't it be kinder- more honest-  to keep the hell out of their way?

Or are you doing them a favour by giving them the opportunity to forgive, which- as I said at the beginning- is always a sublime act?

Someone should write a novel about this.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: seraphimsigrist
2009-08-28 03:41 pm (UTC)

Fink-Nottle wanted in role

It seems an Iris Murdoch subject
doesn't it?
but I do not remember liking her
fiction much, with its theological
dramatizations of sartre if one can
put it so...
how about p.g.wodehouse(nominating
someone departed the scened but to
suggest a tone)
I imagine Gussie Fink-Nottle pursuing
some lady(or put up to it by Bertie
with the reluctant connivance of Jeeves)
to ask her pardon...
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2009-08-28 04:26 pm (UTC)

Re: Fink-Nottle wanted in role

What a delightful suggestion.

I am now trying to imagine Wodehouse grappling with the plot of the Idiot.

There's a Tolstoy novel- but not as I remember a very good one- Resurrection- that tackles the theme.

I'm very fond of Murdoch myself- but that's for tomorrow's post :)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: seraphimsigrist
2009-08-28 04:51 pm (UTC)

crime and punishment retold

Having taken to heart,if hardly to head,
some quote from spinoza ,Bertie puts ax
through aunt dahlia's cow creamer.

Edited at 2009-08-28 04:52 pm (UTC)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2009-08-28 05:40 pm (UTC)

Re: crime and punishment retold

And Jeeves comes up with an elaborate plan whereby Aunt Dahlia is pacified and the cow creamer either replaced or restored.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: seraphimsigrist
2009-08-28 05:42 pm (UTC)
yes it was not THE cow creamer
which he broke...
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)