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Tony Grist

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Forgiveness [Aug. 28th, 2009|09:39 am]
Tony Grist
Forgiveness is always sublime, but...

A friend of mine is being pestered by a man from her past of whom she has less than delightful memories. Maybe he's just amazingly thick-skinned and unaware of how she feels about him- or maybe he's been put up to it by his AA group. Apparently that's something the AA do- they urge their members to go out and seek reconciliation with those they've wronged.
 
It's not that she doesn't forgive him, it's just that she'd rather he faded back into the woodwork. Does forgiveness mean you have to hang out with your former enemies?

It's a very egotistical thing, wanting to be forgiven. You've hurt this person and now you're creeping round them going, "Please make me feel better".  It turns the victim into the aggressor.  Wouldn't it be kinder- more honest-  to keep the hell out of their way?

Or are you doing them a favour by giving them the opportunity to forgive, which- as I said at the beginning- is always a sublime act?

Someone should write a novel about this.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: seraphimsigrist
2009-08-28 01:19 pm (UTC)

thoughts on it

the film flat liners was about this as I
remember--medical students experimenting in near death
experiences come up against ghosts of their past in
unforgiven acts...
but in fact I suppose each case is unique and it is
doubtful that anyone remembering some schoolyard bully
wants to meet the fellow again etc
the balance of things often must rest in God or in
the Tao of things etc and the idea that we can pay all
debts is an illusion...
we would be hard pressed by the gravity of our debts
and of our heavy selves if there were not something
like Grace...
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[User Picture]From: daisytells
2009-08-28 02:17 pm (UTC)

Re: thoughts on it

I believe in Grace, too. If I did not, I "would be hard pressed by the gravity...."
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2009-08-28 05:29 pm (UTC)

Re: thoughts on it

I've seen that movie, but I don't remember very much about it- which is odd really, considering what a great premise it has.

I think you're right. There's only so much we can sort out here on earth.
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