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Tony Grist

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Forgiveness [Aug. 28th, 2009|09:39 am]
Tony Grist
Forgiveness is always sublime, but...

A friend of mine is being pestered by a man from her past of whom she has less than delightful memories. Maybe he's just amazingly thick-skinned and unaware of how she feels about him- or maybe he's been put up to it by his AA group. Apparently that's something the AA do- they urge their members to go out and seek reconciliation with those they've wronged.
It's not that she doesn't forgive him, it's just that she'd rather he faded back into the woodwork. Does forgiveness mean you have to hang out with your former enemies?

It's a very egotistical thing, wanting to be forgiven. You've hurt this person and now you're creeping round them going, "Please make me feel better".  It turns the victim into the aggressor.  Wouldn't it be kinder- more honest-  to keep the hell out of their way?

Or are you doing them a favour by giving them the opportunity to forgive, which- as I said at the beginning- is always a sublime act?

Someone should write a novel about this.

[User Picture]From: dadi
2009-08-28 09:45 am (UTC)
Some religious and "spiritual" groups put people up to this stuff too. I have an ex too who is part of some kind of sect which promises him he will do astral travelling, thought control (of other people), have all the money and the sex he will ever want.. if he does what they say, among which the "reconciling" is on the program. He periodically pesters me that we have to "forgive each other" for what we have done to each other, but to me this is simply another way of him stalking me out of my head what had ended our relationship. So now he stalks me to ask me to forgive him for stalking me. Gah.
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2009-08-28 11:15 am (UTC)
That is simply disgusting.

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