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Tony Grist

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An Unseasonal Truth [Dec. 14th, 2008|10:21 am]
Tony Grist
I'm sorry to say it, but Dickens was wrong. The Cratchitts would have hated the new, benevolent Scrooge even more than they hated the old, miserly one. You can't buy love by turning up on the doorstep cutting capers and waving a turkey by the neck. A benefactor- especially one there's no hope of repaying- is universally despised.

I've lost friends by being kind to them- and also because they were kind to me. Gifts- big one-sided gifts- can kill a relationship. Equality is replaced by obligation. Much better to sever the link than to be reminded every time you see a person's shining face that you owe them one. They say you should give anonymously so as not to reap the gratitude; I say you should give anonymously so as not to reap the resentment.

There are times when you have no choice but to give- because it's the only moral thing to do- but you shouldn't expect a reward. Rather the reverse.
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Comments:
From: (Anonymous)
2008-12-14 10:04 pm (UTC)
They say you should give anonymously so as not to reap the gratitude; I say you should give anonymously so as not to reap the resentment.

What does it say about me that I consider that worthy of the title 11th Commandment? I will never understand why some people insist on drawing attention to themselves, for whatever reason and by whatever means. Anonymity is vastly underrated in our modern world.
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[User Picture]From: solar_diablo
2008-12-14 10:05 pm (UTC)
I was going to apologize for not logging in while posting this, but it couldn't have been more appropriate now could it? But I'll uncloak anyway . ;)
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2008-12-14 11:12 pm (UTC)
I used to live in a place called Reddish. The one time mill-owner had given all sorts of things to the town- and his name was plastered on everything. The Houldsworth memorial this, the Houldsworth Memorial that. He even made sure the church- St Elisabeth's- was named in honour of his wife. The townspeople- oddly enough- did not think of him fondly.
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