||[Dec. 18th, 2007|12:02 pm]
Alan lived with Pat. They weren't a couple; there was no blood link. He was a slow learner and she had been his teacher. After he left school he got a factory job but his mother couldn't be relied on to get him up for work so he moved in with Pat who could. The arrangement lasted over thirty years. Ailz also lived with Pat for a while. Pat's a wonderful lady who never had children of her own but has a gift for stepping in and taking over when mothers fail.|
Ailz went up to Pat's yesterday. She was there when the nice undertaker lady called. There's going to be a post-mortem and- barring complications- the funeral will take place on Friday afternoon.
Ailz came home with a bag full of things Alan no longer needs- like curry sauces and pasta (which Pat won't eat) and big chunky mugs (Pat uses cups). One of the mugs- the one Ailz is drinking coffee from as I write- has Homer Simpson on it. Another carries a risque joke about nuts and spanners.
please pass my condolences even though I don't know them and they don't know me... Having had to watch and wait - for postmortem, then the weekend and then finally getting a death certificate to be told by undertaker that there was a 'bit of a wait' for the crematorium for my father in laws funeral, it's a hard thing not to be moved by peoples sadness and grief.
I am so glad there are people like Pat around.... we came home with a couple of packs of new socks, a few pack of rice :)
When my father died there was a post-mortem and we had to wait nearly three weeks for the funeral. That was grim.
Sorry to hear this. But a marvellous story. Thank goodness that we can, in a way, choose our families. I guess Pat will be at a bit of a Loose End now but I know that a lady like her will have a load of friends to rally round.
I will be thinking about you all on Friday.
Thanks. I've just heard there's a possibility we may not be able to get an officiant for the funeral- in which case we'll have to cobble together some sort of act of remembrance for ourselves.
Pat is an active and highly respected member of her village community. She won't lack for friends.
Pat sounds like a very unique and wonderful lady. Alan chose the best possible family when his own was not able to provide for his needs. Bless both of them.
Thanks. Pat is an amazing person.
Thank you for your condolences.
Pat is a wonderful woman. I used to have this hope that she was really my mother, rather than my godmother (and only that as proxy for my great aunt in Ireland). She backed me when my mother said how awful I was, came to see me in hospital as a child when my father couldn't and has always been there for me - and others. She is coping - she is 80, and had breast cancer 6 years ago, but if you met her you'd be surprised at her youth and energy.
Alan was apprenticed as a chrome plater in a factory that made wallpaper rollers, which was a good job for a 'slow-learner'. It turned out that he was dislexic rather than slow. He was certainly smart enough to know he had to move out of his parents' house if he wanted to keep his job.
The post-mortem is done - his heart just gave out. Between his weight, cold and diabetes - and hernia, possibly - it was just too much for it.
Ailz, I am so sorry for your loss. I will remember Pat in my prayers.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if there was a Pat for everybody - for those times when natural parents either couldn't or wouldn't be there for us?
In so many cases the ad hoc families we make for ourselves are stonger and truer than the families we inherit.