THE KING’S PLEASURE
JFK would snatch at snatch
Off corridors between meetings and briefings.
And shower his thirty seconds of gold
On girls who gulped for gratitude.
Well, most of them did,
But the guy held steady
And saved the world from going kerblooey
Now the ancient Irish
Believed that their king should shag a mare
At his coronation.(I guess he stood
On a stool to do it.) the idea being
That only a fella so goofy for sex
He could get it up for a horse’s arse
Was fit to rule
For without a doubt
The emperors of carnality
Are often the best men, the staunch in a test men
The most creative....
And hence that song
In which an ogress with huge peg teeth
Invites the king for a ride on her hide
And he goes because he’s chivalrous.
But when he wakes he finds she’s a girl
With bright gold hair and the bones of a bird.