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Tony Grist

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As Much As I Care To Put On Record [Aug. 11th, 2007|11:30 am]
Tony Grist
When I moved in here 21 years ago I was with Chris. We were both coming from a bad place and she was my best buddy and I was her rescuer. We called it love and it didn't last very long. Her kids hated me and we had different goals in life. I was on my way to becoming a witch and she wanted to be  "normal".

It was all very painful. Notice how I'm not going into any detail. Those things are for the judgement hall of Osiris not  LJ.

You'd think I'd dream about her, but I don't. What I dream about is being a clergyman- which goes to show that being a clergyman was a lot worse than being in a fucked up relationship- and quitting the church and getting together with her was a step in the right direction.

We lost touch many years ago. And that's as it should be. Move on, keep your eyes on the prize, don't look back.  Someone told me she'd found herself a significant other and I hope that's true and she's happy.



It’s odd how you can live with a person

Three full years and remember so little...


The very first Christmas I spent with her

I went for a walk in the hills on my own

(It was very damp. It was very still)

Which was cruel of me, but we’d come together

Through need and not from the fellow feeling

That makes a marriage.


                                      She’d crisp, thick hair

And very small breasts (she was bothered about them),

Secrets too that she wouldn’t share,

Which ate her up.


                   At the end she remarked

In a choked back voice, it was thanks to me,

Because I was callous and wouldn’t work,

That she’d gained the bottle to fend for herself.

This hurt at the time, but I think, on reflection,

I did her no harm.


                             It was sex that kept us

Sweet for so long. I remember dragging

Her orange trousers down round her knees

And doing it scratchily, standing up,

In a big, old  rhododendron bush

One thirsty summer’s afternoon

In the early days. She was flighty then.


[User Picture]From: shullie
2007-08-11 03:53 pm (UTC)
the poem is sad but has such beauty and simplicity, thanks for the glimpse....
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2007-08-11 04:56 pm (UTC)
It's nearly twenty years ago now since Chris and I split up. Looking back, I think I was suffering from depression all through our time together- but it wasn't all bad- not by a long shot.
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[User Picture]From: sina_says
2007-08-15 01:41 pm (UTC)
i really love that.
thank you.
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2007-08-15 02:14 pm (UTC)
Hey, I'm pleased.
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