I'm not talking about carols or even Christmas hymns- I like a lot of those. I'm talking about Christmas pop songs. Aren't they horrible?
And inescapable at this time of year: Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Slade, Wizard, Cliff Richard.
The chingly sleigh bells, the fake bonhomie. Like being backed into a corner by a sentimental drunk with mincepie breath.
There are only two Christmas songs I can stand. The first is White Christmas. Well, it's Irving Berlin and Irving Berlin was a mensch. And the second is the Pogues' Fairytale of New York.
"You scumbag, you maggot, you cheap, lousy faggot"- ah now, there's the true spirit of Christmas!