?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Notes To Prospective Buyers - Eroticdreambattle — LiveJournal [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Tony Grist

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

Notes To Prospective Buyers [Jun. 4th, 2006|12:04 pm]
Tony Grist

Notes To Prospective Buyers

It is a big, old house with original features.
Two rooms are painted purple and one is green,
("Satyr green" to be precise)
The kitchen is orange.
Try to imagine it beige throughout.

In the front room there are rabbits-
The beloved pets- 
(They have eaten the wallpaper- ain’t that cute?)
Try to imagine the room without them.

In the back room there are books (several thousand)
Because books do furnish a room.
And DVDs because they furnish it as well.
Why don’t you look at the fireplace instead.
(It’s marble)

In the hallway and up the stairs
Are amateur paintings on Wiccan themes,
Featuring women with challenging eyes.
Try to imagine the space without them.

There are two people dogging your steps.
They say the kitchen is a Moben and two years old.
They say the leak has been fixed (but do you believe them?)
They both want ever so much to be liked.

Try to imagine the world without them.

linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: idahoswede
2006-06-04 12:22 pm (UTC)
I'll take it (although I will change the color of the kitchen to a French provincial blue and white, I will keep the purple and green rooms). You may have the books and DVDs, since I come equipped with a full room's worth myself. What's a Moben kitchen anyway?
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2006-06-04 01:05 pm (UTC)
Moben is a maker of kitchens. Top of the range, I'm told.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: jubal51394
2006-06-04 12:23 pm (UTC)

Any self respecting realtor would tell you...

To get those too people who care so much OUT of their while prospective buyers look. They care too much and make outsiders very uncomfortable.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2006-06-04 01:06 pm (UTC)

Re: Any self respecting realtor would tell you...

Good point.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: lblanchard
2006-06-04 01:10 pm (UTC)
You got advice to get out of the house, and that's good.

As for the rest: would you really want your house to go to someone who could hardly wait to paint the place beige? Eventually someone will come along and be happy to buy the house at a reasonable price, keep some of your changes, and change others.

(Spoken as someone who absolutely refused to paint or move anything in the last house she sold and who still is living happily with the attar-of-roses paint in the living room of the house she bought ten years ago.)
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2006-06-04 09:59 pm (UTC)
There's this show we sometimes watch called House Doctor where this yappy woman comes along and blands out people's houses to make them more saleable. I hate it.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: jenny_evergreen
2006-06-04 02:14 pm (UTC)
That last bit breaks my heart...maybe the house, but not the world!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2006-06-04 10:00 pm (UTC)
Selling the house makes me think of the process of dying. I know it's a bit melodramatic, but there are parallels.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: jenny_evergreen
2006-06-04 10:15 pm (UTC)
*nod* I understand. It's a great poem. :)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2006-06-04 10:00 pm (UTC)
Thanks.

I tend to turn to verse when I'm feeling stressed.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: rosamicula
2006-06-04 06:46 pm (UTC)
I love this.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2006-06-04 10:01 pm (UTC)
Thank you.

It's the fist piece of verse I've written in ages.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2006-06-04 10:03 pm (UTC)
Thanks.

I wasn't prepared for just how painful a process it would be to try to sell the house.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2006-06-04 10:07 pm (UTC)
The viewers haven't been too bad. Mind you, since most of them have been Urdu speakers, I haven't known what they were saying to one another most of the time.

But I think the process would hurt even if everyone was faultlessly polite.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: jackiejj
2006-06-05 04:55 pm (UTC)
I'm up here in Pennsylvania, 536 miles from my house, and just got a call that the home inspectors are seeing it on Wednesday.

I've gone from feeling excited and hopeful to being scared to pieces that they'll find a deal-breaking, expensive problem...

This process is exhausting.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2006-06-05 07:09 pm (UTC)
It is exhausting. I'm trying to pretend it isn't really happening, but I'm not doing very well.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: kaysho
2006-06-09 05:45 am (UTC)
Funny how you have to sell the house and not how you've interpreted it, isn't it?

Thanks. That expressed the feeling well.

Reminds me of the rental house we had looked at one time where the previous tenant had painted each room a different bright colour: pink, light blue, brilliant yellow. The owner was busily painting over everything in eggshell.

It was such a waste. :)
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2006-06-09 08:36 am (UTC)
One is supposed- according to the experts- to remove all traces of personality from a house when one is selling it.

I refuse. I'll tidy it up a bit and reduce the clutter, but I'm not turning it into an anodyne show home.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: manfalling
2006-06-10 02:50 pm (UTC)
yeah- that's a pretty moving poem dad.

moving on. leaving things behind. that's hard.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2006-06-10 02:52 pm (UTC)
Thanks.

It is hard; I'm not at all sure I really want to do it.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: shewhomust
2006-06-11 10:26 am (UTC)
I found myself thinking about this poem yesterday, while I was doing something completely different: which is a good sign, isn't it?
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2006-06-11 10:31 am (UTC)
A very good sign....

I guess every poet's dream is to write a poem that "sticks"- that gets into people's heads and then stays there.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: fickleasever
2007-11-04 12:34 pm (UTC)
That's kind of a sad last line.

Having sold our last house nine months ago (though we didn't move into the current one for two and a half months) I remember all this stuff, showing people around, and hoping they'd imagine all our personalities away. It's a weird feeling having people to view.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2007-11-04 12:41 pm (UTC)
I hated the experience. So much so we took the house of the market.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)