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Tony Grist

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It Continues [Sep. 5th, 2005|05:45 pm]
Tony Grist
Ailz thinks K may have been watching the house. How else did she know to ring when she did- just after we got back from the hospital?

Ha, we have a stalker!

The first time she rang Joe picked up. He told her Ailz was out (and if she was watching she'd have known it was a lie.) The second time I picked up. And was taken off guard by the flood of apologies. I was expecting recriminations, self-justification- not this.

I forget the exact wording, but she was begging to be taken back.

I blocked her questions. I didn't give encouragement. But neither did I tell her to get lost.

I should have done, I should have done.

"I'll ring again in a couple of days," she said. "Maybe Aileen will be able to talk to me then."

She has convinced herself that Ailz is having a funny turn and will come to her senses and be her friend again.

I had no idea she was so attached......
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: tx_cronopio
2005-09-05 10:08 am (UTC)
Warning from someone who works in counseling: She is not attached, at least not in the friendly lovey kind of way.

Stand your ground, my friend!

Actually, it's none of my business, but I hope it all works out for you and A.
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2005-09-05 11:20 am (UTC)
Thanks.

Yes, we'll stand our ground. Her refusal to go away just makes us keener to be rid of her.
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[User Picture]From: jackiejj
2005-09-05 10:29 am (UTC)
Tony, something's wrong--the woman is emotionally needy and is beginning to sound obsessed. Good grief! She would happily drain you both dry...
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2005-09-05 11:23 am (UTC)
I'm surprised. I didn't expect this.

It's not as if she used to hang about here. In fact we never saw her except when she wanted something or other.
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[User Picture]From: lblanchard
2005-09-05 10:36 am (UTC)
Stand firm. If you're feeling charitable, tell her she probably needs to learn how to set boundaries between herself and the folks for whom she's caring and that if she does this, she should make an excellent caregiver for *another* worthy family.

And wish her well and say goodbye.

(Spoken as one who's gotten REALLY good at this over the last nine months.)
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2005-09-05 11:25 am (UTC)
Kindly but firm.

Yes, I've never been good at the setting of boundaries. I let people get too close too soon. We both do.
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[User Picture]From: seaslug_of_doom
2005-09-05 11:40 am (UTC)
Yep, I agree. To be succinct -- she's mental.

In other words:
Clock doesn't have all its numbers.
Knitting with only one needle.
Mainspring's wound too tight.
Her little red choo choo done jumped the track.
Vacancy on the top floor.

Or she's a grifter.
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2005-09-05 11:55 am (UTC)
I think grifter may be it.

Ailz has reminded me that K has another academic assignment to complete- and without Ailz's help she's going to struggle.
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[User Picture]From: jackiejj
2005-09-05 03:14 pm (UTC)
Her cheese had slid off its cracker.
Her porch light is dim.
There are no squirrels in her attic: just nuts.
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[User Picture]From: shewhomust
2005-09-05 01:25 pm (UTC)
She's a volunteer, right? Working through some volunteer agency, under some degree of supervision? If you haven't already involved them - not just saying you no longer want her "help", but also why - now is probably the time.

It could just be that she's hoping to get back in your good books in time to get help with her assignment, in which case, if she doesn't, she may go away. Let's hope so.

But she may need help herself, and she certainly shouldn't be let loose on someone else...
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2005-09-05 03:13 pm (UTC)
We have involved the agency. Her supervisor spoke to her today. In spite of this she rang us and said that she wanted to continue as our friend on an unofficial basis, which means that she really hasn't got the point.



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[User Picture]From: mazzie
2005-09-06 06:00 am (UTC)
just in case ...

document, document, document.
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2005-09-06 06:19 am (UTC)
Good point....

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