December 13th, 2016


Living With Dementia


My mother (looking at plate on lap): What's this?

Self: Spaghetti.

Mother (sticking fork into food) So what's this then?

Self: Spaghetti.

Mother (still with the fork) : No, this...

Self: Spaghetti sauce


My mother (struggling with broadsheet paper) What's all this. The first commando....?

Self: I've no idea.  Show me.

Mother: Here.

Self: Not commando, Leonardo. They've found some gay porn by Leonardo and sold it for £15 million.

Mother (best lady Bracknell manner) Gay porn!

Self: Yes it's a drawing of a naked young man writhing in agony.

Mother: Why's he in agony?

Self: Because he's been shot full of arrows.


Ailz: X has died

Self: Hmmm

Ailz: Apparently he had dementia...

Self: Breaks into helpless giggles

A Conversation About Rupert Murdoch

A: I see Rupert Murdoch wants to acquire the whole of Sky. Isn't that terrible!

B: He's an old man. Allow him his little whims. He'll be dead soon. Then his empire will collapse- as empires do.

A: Still it's sad.

B: How so?

A: The neediness. The colossal and unremitting neediness...

Just A Couple Of Things

1. The first time I came across the phrase "sky fairy" I thought it amusing, the one thousand and sixty third time I thought, "This person has stopped thinking for themselves."

2. We should be thanking the striking rail unions for pointing up the absurdity and wastefulness of a system that requires millions of people to spend millions of hours travelling to and from work every day.