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Tony Grist

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A Bit Of A Rant [Sep. 4th, 2005|10:42 am]
Tony Grist
This person was put in place as a volunteer carer- to offer Ailz companionship and give me space to gad off on my own- but she never shows up without requests for favours. She gives us nothing- and certainly not the service we thought she was offering- and takes all she can.

She got Ailz to fix her computer (it took hours and hours). She got Ailz to type up her dissertation- it turned out to need editing and rewriting as well.

And when she talks, she talks about herself and herself and herself. Justifying herself, praising herself. We're good listeners, but this tape is on a loop...

I feel a deep sense of anger and betrayal.

Then she rings to request (actually more like demand) that we place bids on eBay for her. I tell her Ailz is feeling really rough. She goes on pestering.

In the morning her teenage son rings and pesters some more. Bid on these shoes for me. Up to £20.

And whose pocket is that £20 coming out of? When will it be repaid?

We've had it. That's enough. We tell her supervisor to pull her off our case.

She rings but I'm not answering the phone. If I did I would shout.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: dadi
2005-09-04 03:18 am (UTC)
vampyres. That is what those people are. They search not for somebody to help, but somebody to prey on. Gah. I hope you never hear from her again!!
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2005-09-04 06:53 am (UTC)
Thanks.

Oddly enough I feel guilty about it- that it's somehow my fault.
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[User Picture]From: suemars
2005-09-04 04:24 am (UTC)
good for you, i have been a care giver, and thats not what its about. i have been reading you and your aliz's journal. wonderful, sweet people, you deserve way better.
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2005-09-04 06:56 am (UTC)
Thank you very much.

We like to give. But in this case we gave and we gave and it was all going the one way and suddenly we woke up and thought, hey, we've been had.
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[User Picture]From: idahoswede
2005-09-04 04:51 am (UTC)
You probably should have called her on the behavior a long time ago, or at least the supervisor, but better late than never. Some people just have no clue that life is not always about MEMEMEMEMEME.
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2005-09-04 07:01 am (UTC)
We did have an earlier run in with her- and the supervisor was involved and we talked it through and we thought we'd give her a second chance.

In some ways I'm glad we did. If we'd cut all links then I'd always have been unsure whether we'd done the right thing, whereas now I'm sure.
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[User Picture]From: lblanchard
2005-09-04 04:53 am (UTC)
Good for you. Best to not answer the phone any longer. If Ailz still has dissertation stuff in the house/on her computer, or if there are any of her belongings at all at your house, it might make sense to box it all up and deliver it to the agency that sent her on Monday.
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2005-09-04 07:03 am (UTC)
No we don't have anything of hers lying around. Unless- good point! there's something on the computer. We'll check and if there's anything there we'll wipe it.
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[User Picture]From: tx_cronopio
2005-09-04 05:57 am (UTC)
Emotional vampire. Good for you for booting her out!
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2005-09-04 07:04 am (UTC)
Yes I've been made to feel as if I owe her something. And I don't.

Thanks for your support.
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[User Picture]From: jenny_evergreen
2005-09-04 06:03 am (UTC)
That's just horrible. *sigh* Sorry you've gone through it, hope it goes away permanently now.
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2005-09-04 07:06 am (UTC)
Thanks,

The supervisor will talk to her tomorrow. I hope that that's an end to it.
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From: athenais
2005-09-04 08:51 am (UTC)
I am genuinely shocked. Wretched woman! You've done more than fair by her. She shouldn't be placed anywhere else...is there some kind of formal complaint you could make?
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2005-09-04 10:57 am (UTC)
It's a volunteer position, so she can't really be sacked- but we've told the supervisor about our experience and we can only hope the supervisor uses discretion when it comes to placing her with other people in future.
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[User Picture]From: jackiejj
2005-09-04 03:32 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry, Tony--first, that Ailz isn't well; second, that you both were let down so badly.

I think your solution is exactly the right thing. I hope the next person will be absolutely opposite to this one, who has little compassion.

You have both (no surprise) been endlessly patient. Enough is enough.
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2005-09-05 04:22 am (UTC)
I find it hard to think bad thoughts about people. I keep on and on giving them the benefit of the doubt
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2005-09-05 04:19 am (UTC)
She is a leech. But I'm sure she'd be shocked if anyone said that to her face. She is someone who has very little self-awareness.
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