March 13th, 2010

My Main Concern

My main concern is for Ailz. She's not fit to be running her parents around the way she's had to do this past week- nor to deal with the anxiety arising.  There's a reason why she draws disability benefit- and if she disregards her limitations she gets ill.  Her parents sort of acknowledge this- and sort of don't. She's absolutely drained this weekend. She needs to sleep- and yet she can't sleep because of the pain.  Last night- and this is typical- she went to bed around seven, then got up at two, took some painkillers- and came back to bed at four. Normally she paces herself: one day she'll put herself out- like go to the shops- next day she'll spend in bed.. Having to run her mother to the hospital and the shops day after day  has flattened her. 

 (I don't drive, by the way)

I've put my foot down. I've said she's not going round there tomorrow for Mother's Day and she's not running her father to hospital for an appointment on Monday either.   

As for her father, he's sicker than any of us are openly acknowledging around him.  He wants to play it as if this is a temporary indisposition- and he'll bounce back from it.  But it isn't and he won't. He can barely walk, his pneumonia hasn't cleared up, there's something fundamentally wrong with his stomach- and he isn't eating properly.  Every time the phone goes I expect it to be my mother-in-law calling for help- help  we're not in any fit state to provide...



Carl came round with his ladder and his claw hammer and ripped out a section of the kitchen ceiling to expose the underside of the bathroom floor. We now know where the leak is coming from.

I'm keeping up my resolve to downsize our vast holdings of junk by getting rid of at least one item every day. This evening a quick survey of the bookcase in the rabbits' room turned up a number of copies of a very dull magazine called World Faith Encounter which I acquired when I was ecumenical officer for The Pagan Federation. I'm going to donate them to Oxfam.