October 17th, 2005

Yesterday

Yesterday was one of those days when all the things there are to worry about ganged up on me and made me feel physically sick, so I went out and took a walk in the park with my camera. It was a beautiful, slightly hazy afternoon (photos to follow.) About halfway round I was struck with the feeling that this self I happen to be at the moment isn't the real me at all. The real me is someone entirely other.  Untouchable. Outside of time. Amused. For a little while I was so closely identified with this larger self that I was looking down at the everyday me as if it were a rumpled suit of clothes and thinking, do I really have to slip back into that again?