April 28th, 2004

Weep for the Sheep

There's a sheep in Australia that had avoided being sheared for six years by hiding out in caves. It is a wild colonial sheep, a larrikin sheep, a sheep in the noble tradition of Ned Kelly. </p>

And now that the Man has finally caught the sheep he wants to make an exhibition of it by shearing it live on national television.

"Billy, they don't like you to be so free."

Weep for the Sheep 2

They showed us the sheep on the mid-day news. It was one big enormous fluff-ball. Maybe they were doing it a favour after all. </p>

And it was New Zealand not Australia. That makes sense. I don't suppose there are that many caves for sheep to hide in in the Australian outback. It's flat. It's dusty. But New Zealand- ah.....

I've often said I'd like to go there, but I didn't really mean it. It's too far. And where's the need now they've got a film industry? Why fly halfway round the world when you can enjoy the scenery (superbly lit) in the privacy of your own home?

 You think I'm talking about LOTR. Well I suppose I am, but mainly I'm talking about Xena Warrior Princess. Xena got there first. And besides, the scenery in LOTR has been all scrambled up in the computers.

Five Reasons why Xena is better that LOTR

1.Lucy Lawless could eat Viggo Mortensen for breakfast

2 Renee O'Connor is cuter than any damn hobbit.

3 Xena completes her missions in a snappy 50 minutes.

4 There aren't any lesbians in Tolkien. Dammit, there are hardly any women.

5 Joxer.