?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Moving Along - Eroticdreambattle — LiveJournal [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Tony Grist

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

Moving Along [Feb. 6th, 2019|09:00 am]
Tony Grist
Ailz is on the way home.

Time concertinas. It seems no time at all since she left- and it isn't- roughly 36 hours- but ages since Dorothy died- which it's not- roughly 24 hours. Time, of course, isn't real. I love clocks with their moony faces and friendly ticking but I don't believe them.

Joe and Victoria and Aria were with Ailz at the bungalow yesterday, also Peter, Odi, Fabrizio, Christa and Miguel. Also Keith (Ailz's brother). Keith is talking about hiring a skip and piling everything into it. Bish, bash, bosh- drive your cart and your plough over the bones of the dead. Peter was non-plussed. Ailz suggested Peter might organise a container and send the stuff that's worth keeping to Cameroon- which is something Cameroonians abroad do regularly. She's piled the car with things she knew her mother wanted her to have. And if we don't want it as much as Dorothy thought we might there are always the charity shops. She's told the neighbours- who have been Dorothy's primary carers these past few months- to help themselves...

I did some ringing round. Pat- Ailz's sort of godmother- she's known Dorothy longer than anyone still living (they were at school together)- was wonderfully matter of fact. She didn't pretend grief.   I forget her exact words but what they amounted to were, "Yes, she'd been ill." Pat is 90 and has lived...

linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: halfmoon_mollie
2019-02-06 01:34 pm (UTC)
It's true, what you say about time. In my own case, my Dad died almost four months ago. It still feels like it was just yesterday or at the most, last week. I think the Cameroon suggestion is a good one!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2019-02-06 01:48 pm (UTC)
They hire these big containers and fill them with the detritus of the first world and send them out to Africa- where the things we've discarded still have value. It must makes economic sense or they wouldn't do it. We used this route to send a motorized wheelchair that Ailz didn't need to Peter's mother- and it didn't cost us a dime.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: halfmoon_mollie
2019-02-06 01:55 pm (UTC)
When I moved out of my apartment at Harborside I donated a whole moving van's worth of furniture etc to the Refugee Center. Very shortly after that there was a new President and the place more or less went out of business.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2019-02-06 04:02 pm (UTC)
It's a shame about the Refugee Centre.

We take things to charity shops. It's a continuous process- because we also buy things in charity shops and if we didn't move things on we'd be overwhelmed.



(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: halfmoon_mollie
2019-02-06 05:43 pm (UTC)
Yes, I do as well. Charity shops are wonderful places...
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: pondhopper
2019-02-06 02:52 pm (UTC)

Sending off the earthly goods of the deceased where they can he used makes perfect sense. I just stopped for a moment to figure out how long my own mother has been gone and it's going on 22 years. It can't be that long but it is. And dad has been gone almost 26 years. Time really doesn't have much meaning within the limits of our own lives.

(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2019-02-06 04:06 pm (UTC)
I was moving books around the other week- and my mother said "What about my mother's books?" And I said "They're family books." I did some calculating and realised my mother's mother has been dead for about fifty years. People who have been dead fifty years don't have possessions-and neither do people who have been dead a day.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: lblanchard
2019-02-07 02:05 am (UTC)
I don't care how clingy, guilt-inducing, whateverwhatever Dorothy was -- this has to be hard on Ailz. In fact, I think the grief over a problem parent is in many ways harder, because the anger and guilt ferment into a kind of festering stew.

Thinking good thoughts for Ailz.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2019-02-07 08:51 am (UTC)
Much of the drama had gone out of their relationship by the end. And it was Ailz- and nobody else- who sat with her mother for the last few hours of her life. The issues had mainly been worked out, I think.

It's early days, of course...
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)