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Tony Grist

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Sex Pests [Nov. 1st, 2017|12:01 pm]
Tony Grist
The important thing in the management of one's sexuality is not to allow it to become an annoyance to other people.

There are certain guidelines that may help one achieve this.

For instance:

1.Understand that "No" means no.

2.Never abuse or exploit a position of power.

3.Be sensitive to the  vulnerabilities of the people around you. 

4. Behave in ways appropriate to the place in which you find yourself: i.e.: behaviour that would be acceptable in a sex club is unlikely to be acceptable in the office or the back of a taxi.

5. Avoid the kind of banter that demeans people of the opposite sex or people whose sexuality differs from your own.

6. Have some regard to your personal dignity. There's a reason why elderly lechers are universally regarded with contempt. 

This doesn't exhaust the list- but all the rules you can think of pretty much boil down to "treat people (including yourself) with respect."

The unredacted list of Tory sex-pests is now widely available. I've seen it. There are 40 names on it- with brief accounts of what they are supposed to have done. Not all of them- however- appear to have fallen foul of the above guidelines. Having an office affair with someone of your own pay grade isn't abuse. Neither is indulging in non-mainstream activities with consenting adults (either fellow enthusiasts or people who have been paid for their services). That still leaves a large group of honourable members whose behaviour- to use the term employed in self-exculpation by one of them- has been "old-fashioned". They should be disciplined, told not to do it again or else- and the worst offenders should be given their marching orders. In one or two instances the Law should get involved. 

We now need similar lists to be produced for the other parties.

[User Picture]From: idahoswede
2017-11-01 07:52 pm (UTC)
While I do not condone any sort of sexual harassment or assaults, I do think that perhaps people are going just a bit OTT now.

I understand that over £2 million has been spent investigating Ted Heath, who as I recall has been dead certainly 20 years now, am I right? Same with that filthy buggar, Cyril Smith. I cannot help but think back in history to at least one Pope and Cromwell. Are they going to dig these guys up, sit them in a chair and try the dead bodies? Why not spend that money on serious LIVE offenders?

And it seems that every woman around is talking about how their knee was fondled at one time or somebody snapped a bra strap and wanting some kind of closure. Your knee gets fondled and you don't like it? Tell the person in no uncertain terms that if they try that again, they will be trying to find a missing hand or if they want your bra for themselves, you can give them the name of the shop you bought it in. Do it boldly, loudly and it WILL stop almost all people doing that.

And as for personal integrity, I have been speaking often and loudly about young women who seem to feel that it is okay to lift up their tops and display their assets to all and sundry. I am not shocked by breasts, just by people who seem to need to reveal them (or penises for that matter).
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2017-11-01 08:57 pm (UTC)
What we're seeing, I believe, is profound social change. Our generation accepted sexual abuse and bullying as just a part of the way things were. The young are saying, No, actually it's not acceptable and we're going to put a stop to it. I think the young are right.

The Heath case seems to have run into the sand but the police have a duty to investigate and can't know until they've actually done the work whether or not they're going to achieve a result. Heath may be dead but his alleged victims are still around- so it's not exactly ancient history.

I don't suppose I have an opinion about women flashing their breasts in public but I don't see it hurts anyone.
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[User Picture]From: heleninwales
2017-11-02 03:31 pm (UTC)
The problem with these "trivial" incidents is that the person assaulted was often powerless to speak up. Doing so could lose them their job or put them in line for intensified bullying. In the past these things were dismissed as a "joke" if the perpetrator was caught, but they were abuses of power and are now seen as such.
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From: sidhe_uaine42
2017-11-10 05:09 am (UTC)
I have encountered "kids" going "commando" while on public transportation (some of the girls wearing miniskirts, to boot!) The only time that someone should do that is if they had to wash out their "frillies" due to circumstances beyond their control.

Another thing that p!sses me off is when the so-called "victim" tells the person that they set their sights on "if you don't, I'll just tell the police that you did anyway." It cheapens authentic victims as well as takes up police resources.
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