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Tony Grist

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Lawns [Jul. 30th, 2016|11:11 am]
Tony Grist
The lawn is a beautifully understated English way of saying, "Look how fucking rich I am!"

Large areas of monotonously green, inedible grass are beautiful. Or that's what successive generations of landscape gardeners told successive generations of weak-minded landowners. Lancelot Capability Brown- or someone like him- started the rot- and it quickly spread worldwide because if the English milords were doing it it had to be the thing to do.

Actually  an unmown meadow full of wildflowers, or a field of waving corn is far lovelier, but...

Neither of these things proclaim wealth quite so brazenly and wastefully.

The man with the lawn is letting you know he has lots of land but doesn't need to put it into cultivation because his vast income is derived from his West Indian slave plantations other sources. Also that he has cash to throw away on mowing and weeding and watering and rolling. A lawn doesn't keep itself, you know.

Lawns are good for playing croquet and tennis on and gliding over in swooshy dresses. Otherwise....

***********

I've got lawns on the mind because ours is being turned into a scale model of the Bernese Oberland by moles. My mother when she still cared about such things used to call in the moletrapper but I like the moles- with their fine disregard for 18th century aesthetic norms- and what I do is to go out with my spade and little wheelbarrow and remove their earthworks. It leaves a bit of a mess behind but, well, see above for my feelings on the subject.  What a lot of soil the moles do raise! I fill my barrow and then next day I fill it again. I wonder the lawn doesn't collapse into the galleries they've dug.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: sorenr
2016-07-30 09:45 pm (UTC)
Personally I think I'd just rake over the mole hills, rather than waste energy carting the soil away...

My own lawn is dotted with holes from voles, and that's okay. I don't like it anyway and only keep it because it's nice to have SOME lawn for throwing down a blanket and reading in the sun - or having an al fresco lunch or a game of croquet.

Most of my "lawn" isn't mowed. It looks rather messy this year, but I hope in time the sturdier grasses will prevail so I can have a proper meadow and then a narrow strip of lawn. I already have a real miniature meadow full of white chervil down behind the greenhouse; it's an area of the garden where I've literally not set foot since I took possession of this house in December - and I think the previous owner had also given up on that corner of the garden. It's rather beautiful in June, though!
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2016-07-31 08:21 am (UTC)
I don't cart the soil very far- only to the nearest flower bed.

And there's so much of it.

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