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It's 18th Century, It's A Minor Masterpiece. Here, Catch! - Eroticdreambattle [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Tony Grist

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It's 18th Century, It's A Minor Masterpiece. Here, Catch! [Apr. 22nd, 2016|04:53 pm]
Tony Grist
We've got a workman coming in the fix the ceiling next week and this involves moving furniture which involves sorting through a lot of knick-knacks...

Oh, my family (especially the Allen part of it) what a clumsy lot you were!

"Pass me the Sevres bowl, will you, darling."
"Certainly.  Shall I toss it across? Oh drat, it's in smithereens."
 "Never mind, dear- a touch of araldite and it'll be as good as new."

Only it won't, will it? It'll look a fucking mess. It was pretty little thing, not to mention valuable, and you threw it around and knocked bits off it and then clumsily glued it back together and stuck it on the mantlepiece as though nothing had happened- and it breaks my heart to look at it. I'm not exaggerating. The majority of things in this house- and especially the really decent things- have been fucked to buggery. It makes me cross (Perhaps you can tell.)



Here's what a charming and valuable 18th century Derby figurine looks like after having been curated by the Allen family. No head, no feet- and notice the finesse with which the goats back leg has been put back together.

Really, my family, you don't deserve to have such pretty things!
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: puddleshark
2016-04-22 05:52 pm (UTC)
Oh, poor headless, footless figurine!

Though I have some sympathy for your butterfingered relatives. Luckily there was never any Sevres to be handed down in this family because I am appallingly clumsy...
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2016-04-22 06:00 pm (UTC)
I'm clumsy too.

It's in the genes...
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[User Picture]From: halfmoon_mollie
2016-04-22 07:08 pm (UTC)
Why not tell us how you really feel?

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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2016-04-22 07:54 pm (UTC)
I love my family really.

I suspect the chief smasher and gluer was my adored grandmother...
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[User Picture]From: halfmoon_mollie
2016-04-22 08:04 pm (UTC)
Of course you do. Nothing worth anything ever lasted around our house if we had any such thing, since there were butterfingered children involved.
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[User Picture]From: plicease
2016-04-22 08:17 pm (UTC)
It is okay the goat can still see with its eyes and navigate.
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2016-04-23 08:29 am (UTC)
Indeed, why should you want a head and feet when you've got a goat?
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[User Picture]From: plicease
2016-04-23 01:26 pm (UTC)
heads are overrated anyways.
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[User Picture]From: chochiyo_sama
2016-04-22 09:23 pm (UTC)
I don't have nice things either. I have cats instead.
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2016-04-23 08:29 am (UTC)
Cats and nice things don't really go together.

Marlowe regularly clears things off window sills.
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[User Picture]From: kamomil
2016-04-23 07:02 pm (UTC)
My baptismal certificate has mildew spots on it, my dad covered some of them with Liquid Paper. One fail does not fix another LOL. So far I haven't had to show it to anyone
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