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Tony Grist

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I Have Wasted Time And Now Doth Time Waste Me [Apr. 23rd, 2005|09:28 am]
Tony Grist
Most of the spam emails I get are trying to sell me viagra and cialis (the weekend viagra) but- by way of a refreshing change- I got one this morning from "Josh" pushing a "replica" Rolex. "Stun your friends," he said.

Sorry Josh, but I'm death to all watches. Last one I wore, I broke the strap within 24 hours. I don't do it on purpose, but I can't help fiddling with the damn things. And Ailz is worse. She can't wear one at all. Her subtle aura sends their delicate little innards doolally.

But, then, I've never really understood why a watch would be considered a desirable item of personal jewellery. A diamond is forever, but a watch's chief business is to remind you that you're not. It's a symbol of servitude. A slave bracelet. Hurry, hurry, hurry, rush, rush, rush; Get a move on and get things done before you arrive at the edge of Time and drop off.

Clocks are another matter; they're all right, they know their place; they don't cling to you like a watch does. Talking about dropping off, we've got a pendulum clock in the back room that wants to commit suicide. It's very lightweight and its rocking motion causes it to skitter forward towards the edge of its shelf. Every morning I have to push it back into place. That's my kind of timepiece- one I can pity and patronize. There, there, you poor little neurotic thing; life's not so bad really.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: jackiejj
2005-04-23 05:58 am (UTC)
Ah, thank you, Tony. I was feeling surly, and now I'm laughing.

A suicidal clock!

And it makes me smile to think about "stunned friends" looking at a Rolex watch.

I got a layoff notice from my Company after twenty-five years with them, and three weeks later got a twenty-five year anniversary gold watch from them, along with a little card that said, "We greatly value you as an employee and hope for many more years of continued relationship."

The irony! I pinned it to my office bulletin board and showed it to all my sympathetic and bitter coworkers, who were all being laid off with me.

Then my position got saved at the very last second.

So my gold watch is a bitter thing, and it doesn't even keep good time.

Anyway, you nicely cranked up my Saturday, so thank you!
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2005-04-23 08:53 am (UTC)
That note was the give-away. The whole transaction had been generated in a machine brain. No human being had been near it.

I think all such gifts of obligation have a slightly bitter taste.
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[User Picture]From: jackiejj
2005-04-23 09:18 am (UTC)
I know.

My stupid watch, which has the company logo on it under the 6, is broken and can't be adjusted any longer--the stem comes out, but the hands won't move.

The company was good to me for years, and offered me about a year's pay to leave and a decent pension besides.

When I finished signing the papers in front of a clerk who was signing us new retirees out, I suddenly stuck out my hand.

"Goodbye, Oak Ridge National Laboratory!" I said to her, and it felt good.
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2005-04-23 10:38 am (UTC)
I've been looking round to see if I have any gifts from former employers- and I don't think I do.

The only thing I can remember receiving was a brass carriage clock- which was given me by the Lad's Brigade (like the Boy Scouts but with added militarism) when I left my first curacy- but it was a cheap clock and it came unglued and fell apart ages ago
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[User Picture]From: jackiejj
2005-04-23 10:49 am (UTC)
I wonder why timepieces are so often used as organization gifts.

My first watch from my company broke after three weeks.
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2005-04-23 12:28 pm (UTC)
If it's a leaving present, then the gift is symbolic.

They've owned your time and now they're giving it back to you.

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