I'm glad that at least your mother is happy.
Yes, she lives in the moment and has nothing to worry about.
Sorry for dropping in. I saw your post on the LJ front page, and I just read this article yesterday.
How to communicate with patients who have dementiahttp://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2014/10/communicate-patients-dementia.html
It argues that confronting people with dementia about their memory loss doesn't improve their condition and instead just makes them upset, and there are other methods to use.
It's written toward doctors but I think it's really useful article.
Some people (in the early stages) seem to know they're fading, but my mother has moved beyond all that.
Roy's dad lost his memories starting with short-term and going back and back and back. The last time we visited him together, Roy asked him if he knew who he (Roy) was. Puzzled look, concern that he'd get it wrong, and then: "Are you my father?"
He didn't remember being married and having children, either. But for a moment he remembered having gone to Dartmouth.
My mother has a remarkable memory for words- and can still
do crosswords. I'm not sure about her long term memory because she was never one to reminisce. The other day I had to tell her which year it was; she seemed surprised we'd got as far as the 21st century.
Who needs a doctor to diagnose advanced old age?
I'm pleased to hear she's happy; my great-grandmother (who lived to be 104 - poor soul!) began loosing her memory and her wits around 99 but retained enough wits to be constantly aware that she was dimming and fading. And it pained her when she couldn't recognise her great-grandchildren - and later on her grandchildren and her children. Some times ignorance is truly a blessing, and it always reminds me of Voltaire's story of the Good Brahmin. Some times, perhpas, the Brahmin is wrong; sometimes it might indeed be preferable to live in ignorant bliss, rather than in knowing unhappiness.
My mother forgets names- including of close family members- but it doesn't seem to embarrass her. She's very good at pretending to understand whats going on when she doesn't. People who have short conversations with her can come away with a favourable but inaccurate estimate of her mental powers.
when you talk with some one
instead of to someone
knowing the face/voice is more important than the name.
it would be interesting to find exactly where in her brain the disconnect is.
but its way better not to turn her into a guinea pig
where they would force her to know there is an deficit.
she must drive you nuts at times
you are very kind
I'd love to have you as my child/sheild
She can be annoying. Also we can't leave her these days. Not unless we arrange for someone to sit in.
i wouldn't leave her alone either
hope there's a few folks to help set in
We get away once a week.
And we're about to have seven days off. We've hired someone from an agency to live here while we're gone.
2014-10-15 04:55 pm (UTC)
Excuse me, but did you forget your sister and your brother-in-law? xx
Of course I didn't.
You know how much we rely on you.
2014-10-15 05:10 pm (UTC)
Thank you :) Have a great time away! Hope all goes smoothly. xxx
Thanks. We're hoping to get a lot sorted out this trip.
It's so hard, because, dementia occurs in the brain... the same brain that would understand that it had dementia if it DIDN'T have dementia.
She forgets that she forgets.