2. I'm having a fight with my (long-dead) father-in-law. I call him a whole string of names, push him over (we're on some sort of bouncy castle) and walk away saying, "Bastard!"
3. I'm in a class being taught by the Archbishop of Canterbury. He tells us the greatest book he's ever read is Barbara Streisand's Autobiography and has a nervous habit of licking the papers in front of him.