Come off it.
My mother did fall out of one while we were away.
How about my mother's missing hearing aid?
She loses them all the time.
Yes, but this time it disappeared somewhere between the downstairs toilet and the telephone- a distance of about three yards- and we're still looking for it over 12 hours later.
If you can turn that into something entertaining good luck to you.
P.G. Woodhouse could have done it.
You don't like Woodhouse.
How about something fiery? Come on, what are you angry about?
Erm. Charles Saatchi.
Well you know he's this big Tory and he's something to do with Andrew Lloyd Webber. And now he's trashing his wife in public. It's awful
*Sigh* . You'll have to do better than that.
Ailz (interrupting): Searching for inspiration?
There is thinking going on.
Ailz: But the wheels are turning slow.
The hamster has arthritis...