Hey, I'm The Satanic Verses: I know you think my author is a twat but have you entirely lost your taste for blasphemy?
I'm worthy. I'm The God of Small Things. I won the Booker.
Look how much shelf space I take up. I'm The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo. Don't tell me you're not interested in girl punk hacker geniuses!
Where are you going in such a hurry? Come on, give a book a break. I'm Tamara Drewe and don't I look like fun?
I gave ear to them all. The Olympics is upon us. There'll be nothing on TV but running, jumping and standing to attention while national anthems are played. Books will most definitely be needed.