||[Jun. 2nd, 2012|02:41 pm]
I lose my temper once every two or three years. The last time was just after the funeral; Fabi had broken something (of no intrinsic value) and then given me a smug smile. I roared at him. Even as I was roaring I began to feel ashamed. |
Of course it was really Eric I was angry with.
Yesterday I felt tired- to the point of wobbliness. Today I feel depleted.
All part of the healing process. Be nice to yourself.
Thanks. I'll do my best...
And very belated sympathies to you on Eric's passing.
Sometimes people yell at kids. My own grandfather, who I loved very dearly, yelled at me more than once or twice, not without grounds for doing so.
I'm glad you got through the funeral OK. Now (to quote Valentine Michael Smith, "healing is..."
My grandfather was a yeller. Maybe I've inherited his temper.
It just occurred to me that when my own Dad died, I was numb during most of the funeral. Afterward when we got back to our own home, exhausted from the long trip and the funeral ado, my husband and I fell into bed and he wrapped his arms around me without a word. I fell asleep feeling comforted for the first time since Dad's final bout with pneumonia had begun. I recommend hugs and sleep for Ailz - and for you, too, Tony.
Isn't it generally worse in the days after the funeral? Until then, there are things to do and the support of others, with well-marked channels in which the emotions may flow acceptably. Only later comes the sorting it all out, too often alone.
I inherited a very strong tendency to anger. It's mostly under control. I don't like it.
Ailz and her mother have gone off to church this morning- which is one way of dealing with the situation, I suppose.
This is what religion's for, isn't it? As she says up thread, be good to yourself. You've been through more than you realize.