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Tony Grist

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Candy-striped [May. 18th, 2012|09:51 am]
Tony Grist
Ailz handed me a candy-striped pullover to put on this morning because she wants me to "be bright". Her father is coming home today (in his hospital bed)  and we'll be going over to the bungalow shortly to move furniture and lend moral support. And, no, it's not particularly good news. He's as sick as he ever was- sicker than when he went in- and all he'll be receiving is palliative care (lovely, soothing euphemism). All this seemed horribly bleak at 2 o'clock in the morning, but I've had my breakfast and it's a new day and I'm ready for what it brings. 
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: steepholm
2012-05-18 09:03 am (UTC)
Good luck. It sounds as if you'll need all the candy stripes you can get.
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2012-05-18 11:22 am (UTC)
Thanks.

I'm also wearing my coping hat.
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[User Picture]From: michaleen
2012-05-18 09:53 am (UTC)
Sorry to hear it. Have they no idea what's wrong with him?
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2012-05-18 11:24 am (UTC)
Thanks.

You name it- heart disease, pneumonia, possibly cancer. They all add up to Old Age.
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[User Picture]From: michaleen
2012-05-19 10:35 am (UTC)
Much love to you and Ailz.
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[User Picture]From: huskyteer
2012-05-18 10:22 am (UTC)
I dislike the phrase 'palliative care'. It freaks me out.

Good luck for the day!
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2012-05-18 11:25 am (UTC)
"Terminal care" is the more honest phrase.

Thanks.
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[User Picture]From: daisytells
2012-05-18 04:02 pm (UTC)
That's accurate, Tony.
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[User Picture]From: veronica_milvus
2012-05-18 10:28 am (UTC)
With grim gallows humour I would say, it seems as though you won't have to endure it for long. It's hard to know whether he is really ill with something they can't / won't diagnose, or whether he's just given up. Can that kill you? Who knows.

I hope you can discharge your candy-striped duties with fortitude. Best wishes.
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2012-05-18 11:32 am (UTC)
Gallows humour is a great resource. I'm drawing deep from that well.

We were at the house this morning and a crow came and perched on the fence and looked at us.

I think the final diagnosis has to be "old age". He's got a lot of things wrong with him- none of them fatal by themselves, but they add up. Also he's tired
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[User Picture]From: pondhopper
2012-05-18 10:47 am (UTC)
There is no official diagnosis? It sounds like they've fairly well given up on him.
I hope you and Ailz (and her mum) get through this new stage serenely...
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2012-05-18 11:34 am (UTC)
He keeps getting infections. They suspect cancer, but can't find it. Basically he doesn't want to be alive any more- and has said so.

Thanks. I think we'll manage. I've got my business head on.
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[User Picture]From: glitzfrau
2012-05-18 10:47 am (UTC)
Good luck. I hope the next weeks and months are as peaceful and stress-free for all of you as they can be.
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2012-05-18 11:35 am (UTC)
Thanks. We got a call this morning warning us he could die in the ambulance on his way home. I don't think this is going to take very long.
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[User Picture]From: glitzfrau
2012-05-18 11:37 am (UTC)
Oh, I am so sorry. What a dreadful call to receive.
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2012-05-18 12:44 pm (UTC)
Thanks, but we weren't surprised by it. We know he's "coming home to die". No-one has left us any illusions about that. Besides, we knew without being told.
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[User Picture]From: lblanchard
2012-05-18 11:48 am (UTC)
My sister said she was very happy with her palliative care in the last month of her life. I'll be thinking of you all -- it's been my experience that one always feels one step behind events as the life of a family member winds down.
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2012-05-18 12:47 pm (UTC)
Thank you.

I was in the palliative care business myself once- a long time ago. I worked in a hospice for a year before I started training for the church.
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From: (Anonymous)
2012-05-18 03:58 pm (UTC)
As your friends say, good luck for the day; I hope that things are as stress free and peaceful as they can be. Love to you both and my best wishes for Ailz's Mum and Dad.
Love Jenny x
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2012-05-18 04:07 pm (UTC)
Thanks. thus far everything is going smoothly. He's been brought home and is sleeping peacefully in a bed in the front room. He's not expected to live more than a few days.
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[User Picture]From: daisytells
2012-05-18 04:05 pm (UTC)
We get old, bodies wear out, just like old machines. I watched my Mom die last year, not suffering, just fading away. Perhaps that is the best way for the patient, but it wears on the family. I keep you and Ailz in my thoughts.
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2012-05-18 04:11 pm (UTC)
Thanks.

He's worn out. It's been clear for a few days now that he's not going to make a recovery this time.
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From: athenais
2012-05-18 04:06 pm (UTC)
Sometimes it's not any one thing, it's simply everything. My best to you and Ailz.
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2012-05-18 04:13 pm (UTC)
As my father in law himself used to say (regularly) when he found himself struggling- "it's old age, dry rot- and poverty".
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[User Picture]From: clindau
2012-05-18 05:59 pm (UTC)
Oh dear; keeping you in my thoughts.
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2012-05-19 09:47 am (UTC)
Thank you
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[User Picture]From: suemars
2012-05-19 02:14 am (UTC)
as you know, we've just been thru this. thinking of the both of you.
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[User Picture]From: poliphilo
2012-05-19 09:48 am (UTC)
Thank you.
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