|Hardening Our Hearts
||[Nov. 11th, 2016|07:48 pm]
We put some of her racing memorabilia in front of my mother and she was going, "What's this? What's it for?" and we knew there was really no reason to hang onto any of it any longer.|
Every so often we have a spurt of ruthlessness. We went through drawers containing my father's stuff (he's been dead for over a decade) and found we'd been treasuring his hearing aids and odd socks. Into the bin with the lot of them!
I'm doing that too, selling, giving away or tossing out the stuff of a lifetime. I also do it in spurts. I feel a bit lighter with each load I hoist onto someone else.
We moved into my mother's house to look after her- and we've had to cram the contents of two households into one building. We keep throwing stuff out but it never seems to get any less.
We are downsizing dramatically in about three years and I don't want the kids to get stuck dealing with our junk. I'm caring for the man who was formerly my husband before he was injured and forgot who I am. He's dealing with TBI/dementia/epilepsy and PBA all from the head injury. Or rather, we're dealing with it and he's thankfully, happily oblivious. Care-giving is not for the feint of heart. Sounds like you're doing it right.
It sounds like you've got a tough job on your hands.
My mother is 95, still physically active, but mentally fading. I discovered today, by waving a photograph under her nose, that she still recognises my father but there's so much else she no longer remembers.
It's hard to watch them change into another person. Mine happened all at once with the accident and it took us nearly thirteen years to get him stabilized but he's also still physically active too which as you know is a blessing. Generally his mental capacity is that of a spoiled belligerent teenager. He usually thinks I'm his mother sometimes he thinks I'm some strange lady who won't leave his house like a babysitter or something. It is definitely an adventure. I've chosen to break all the "rules" of spousal care-giving sooo LOL it's a bumpy ride now and then, but I did choose the job.
I feel better when I get rid of stuff that doesn't matter. I don't know why I can't be more ruthless more often; it's not because I want the stuff!
I always feel better for chucking things away.
We cleared out a lot of papers yesterday and as soon as it stops raining there'll be a bonfire.
I'm carrying on today. Found some interesting stuff at the bottom of a drawer.
Eg: the order for the memorial service for Sir Winston Churchill held in Westerham parish church in 1965. I assume my grandmother- who lived in Westerham- was there.
That's history- history is different! :o)